ocean of unfamiliarity
by Farewells
Summary: - / "I don't know anyone else there either, attending her wedding's like sailing through an ocean of unfamiliarity," she sighs, / - In which Caitlin is conflicted by the invitation to her estranged mother's wedding and Barry tags along as her pretend-date.


**A/n:** Couldn't help writing this after the latest episode. This is slightly AU, without her relationship with Jay. It takes place two years after Ronnie's death.

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 **Chapter: 1**

He found her alone by the old particle accelerator, seated in a corner of the room, shoulders slumped and knees to her chest, a piece of paper scrunched in her fist. His footsteps echoed in the hallway, and she looked over in his approach, a momentary heaviness in her eyes, quickly replaced by a familiar smile, the previous gloominess almost a fading memory, like a second of vulnerability not meant for the world to see.

"Barry?" she got up from the floor and stuffed the paper into her coat's pocket. "Is something the matter? Do we have another metahuman sighting?"

"No, nothing of that sort," he shook his head, then pointed to a nearby clock – it was clearly well beyond the hours of midnight, "Everyone's already gone home. I'm shutting down the lab for the night, just wanted to check on you and make sure you're fine."

"Oh, I-… I'm fine," she said, with a slight fluster in her voice. "I think-… I just lost track of time."

"Are you sure? You looked a little..." he asked, before catching himself, "I mean-… well, not that it's any of my business if you're not, I-… I'm just…"

"I'm fine, Barry, really," she smiled softly. "Thank you for checking up on me."

"Ah, great," he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, "in that case, I'll leave you to it?"

She nodded, and he turned away to leave when she suddenly said, "Actually, Barry… do you mind walking me to the bus stop? I'd enjoy the company."

"Of course! Just give me a second," the second he finished speaking, he disappeared in a flash of red, changing out of his suit in the blink of an eye and reappearing in a more casual civilian outfit. They headed up to the Cortex together and he waited while she collected her belongings.

The room was empty; everyone else had already cleared out hours before, and other than the slight hum of the computer systems that ran Cisco's metahuman search-algorithms overnight, there was an unusual quietness in the normally chaotic backdrop.

When she was finally ready to leave, they locked the facility up for the night, leaving S.T.A.R. labs behind and stepping out into the cold nighttime chill. They headed in the direction of the nearby bus stop, quickly noticing the sudden dip in outside temperature. His increased metabolism helped with the cold, but he was still quite under-dressed. He could see a visible puff with each exhale, like tiny clouds that soon joined the faraway stars above.

The empty parking lot was freezing, but there was something beautifully solemn about the quiet coldness, like they were the only two left on an abandoned world, the stars above shining a path meant only for them two.

"Noctilucent clouds," he said suddenly, pointing towards the night sky, where jagged lines of white could be seen.

"Noctilucent?" she smiled. "Have you been reading a thesaurus?"

He chuckled, "They just remind me of a conversation I had with Oliver. He told me about his encounter with a metahuman that could summon icy clouds with a wave of his hand. The metahuman called himself Noctilucence."

"Ah. Icy clouds. Noctilucence. I get it. That's a smart name. How did Oliver stop him?"

"An arrow through the hand, he says, like it was the most obvious thing to do."

"Ouch."

"Ouch indeed."

They reached the bus shelter, and she started digging through her purse for the bus pass when he noticed the envelope slipping out from the side of her coat. It fell downwards, and time immediately slowed as he sped forward, barely managing to catch the envelope before it could fall into a below puddle.

He held it back to her, noticing that it said ' _To Caitlin Snow – Wedding Invitation'_ on its cover. He recognized the envelope, she'd been acting weird since the postman delivered it this afternoon. It was the same he saw her scrunching up earlier by the particle accelerator.

"Hey you dropped your-"

"-thanks," she snatched the envelope away from him and stuck it back into her coat. Noticing his reaction, she started to say, "Sorry, I-…" until trailing off, like she couldn't find the correct words to say.

He knew she was dealing with a personal matter and it wasn't his place to intrude, but against his better judgement, he asked, "Umm, Caitlin… are you sure you're okay?"

"What do you mean?" she didn't meet his eye.

"You've been a little… distracted, the whole day," he could see from her reaction that she knew exactly what he was referring to. "I don't mean to pry, and I'm sorry if I'm overstepping, but it's like… something's been weighing down on you since receiving that letter."

She was quiet for a long while, then without speaking – reached into her coat and pushed the envelope into his hands. Their eyes caught, and she nodded. He opened the envelope carefully and read the letter.

It was a wedding invitation. It read: ' _Carla Tannhauser and William K. Reynolds requests the pleasure of your company at the celebration of their union'_ on the invitation in bold cursive letters, followed by the date and venue of the celebration.

He didn't understand. "Carla Tannhauser?" he said, the name a familiar one, until a look of recognition crossed his face. "Isn't that the name of your-"

"-mother," she finished his sentence.

He didn't know much about her family, and she wasn't the sort that enjoyed talking about them. But from what he had gathered over the years, he knew that her father passed away when she was little, and that she was estranged from her mother - the CEO of the extremely successful Tannhauser Industries.

"So… it's an invitation to your mother's wedding," he said, then realizing how obvious it was. He just didn't know what else to say

"We've not spoken since... Ronnie's passing," she sat down on a nearby bench, like an air of weariness had suddenly settled over her. "If it could even be considered a conversation." A pained look crossed her features. "Just a 'sorry for your loss' text. Didn't even call, didn't even respond when I asked if she was attending the funeral."

He sat down beside her, "Cait, I-… I'm sorry, I didn't know."

She gave him a sad smile, "There you go trying to take all the blame again. Not everything's your fault, Barry Allen"

"Still, I just wished I'd been there more for you, I-…"

"But you have. You, Cisco, everyone else back at S.T.A.R. labs. You guys were there for me when she wasn't."

They were quiet for the longest while, accompanied only by the soft rustling of leaves from a nearby tree, until he asked, "So… are you going to attend her wedding?"

"I-… I don't know. It's been two years since we last spoke. I don't even know this… William, whoever he is. But-… I think I should. Regardless of our relationship and how I feel about her, she's still my mother, and I should be there for her. She seems to want me there as well, unless this is one of those 'send to everyone in your contacts' invitation, but that's not the point." She sighed, "It's just… I-… I don't know what I'm supposed to do when I'm there. What can I even say to her? I don't know anyone else there either. Attending the wedding's like sailing through an ocean of unfamiliarity."

They fell into silence again, and he was thinking of what to say to her when the city's bus finally turned around the corner of their street. It came to a stop in front of them and the doors opened with a hiss. It was finally time for her to leave.

Before he could speak, she got up onto her feet and turned to him, "Thanks for waiting with me, Barry."

"No problem," he nodded.

She entered the bus, behind a group of late night party goers impatiently tapping their bus passes when he suddenly thought of an idea and called out to her. "Hey Caitlin!"

She turned around, and he climbed one step into the bus. "What about letting me be your plus one?"

"Plus one? You mean for the wedding?"

"Yeah! You don't have to go alone, I'll be your familiar face!"

Something lit up in her eyes, "I-… I would love that."

"Then I'll-"

The bus lady interrupted them with an annoyed cough. Their conversation was clearly holding up the rest of the passengers.

"Boy, my shift is almost over, are you coming in or not?" the lady asked sternly.

"Oh, no, sorry about that," he jumped off the bus and ran to the back, where she already had a window up.

"I'll call you!" he shouted.

She nodded and waved at him – and he continued waving back until the bus disappeared down the road.

Then there was a flash of red, and the street was empty once more.


End file.
